Humor,  Mood of the day,  Under the duvet

Instructions for use of a WOMAN (useful for some)

In response to my post giving the instructions for the use of men, I had a shroud from those gentlemen who dared to pretend that it is women who are complicated to understand and that it is never easy to satisfy them. Yet I find that we are easy to live in as a rule. So, in front of my blank page, I was forced to ask my experts for help to write you a short notice… So I leave them for today the control of the blog (and I’m not very reassured to give them the field free… But well, I also lost a bet…) Good reading! Take all this with humor…

xoxo

La Puce

 

Read this leaflet carefully, as it contains important information.

This medicine can also be prescribed without consultation or prescription of a doctor. Persistence of symptoms requires a friendly medical opinion. Keep this leaflet carefully, you may need to read it every time your wife uses.

 

INDICATION

The woman is a medicine recommended for all men in general, except priests. It is also recommended for women loving women.

This drug is especially effective in the following pathologies:

  • discouragement,
  • anxiety,
  • prostatic and truncheon tensions,
  • insomnia (NDE — particularly effective… A small galipette makes it possible to find the land of dreams and you can abuse it without moderation.)

 

In what case can you use this medicine?

Short-term or long-term treatment to combat a longer or shorter period of celibacy.

 

In what case can not you use this medicine?

— If you are already in an exclusive couple

— If you are allergic to women (as is the case for homosexuals)

 

Immediately after use, it results in a general calming effect associated with an impression of invincibility, which is close to the use of cocaine, opiates or a “firecracker”.

 

DOSAGE

Hummmm there depends on your tastes. The package leaflet does not give details 🙂 The duration of treatment may vary depending on the needs of each individual and the crisis to be cured.

The woman can be used several times a week, without ever exceeding 6 doses per day. Spacing as much as possible to avoid overdose.

If the symptoms do not disappear, without the risk of habituation, you can increase the dose. After several days without improving your condition, we advise you to change medication or even try two at the same time.

The woman is suitable for outdoor or indoor use, as well as multi-purpose.

 

PRECAUTIONS FOR USE

The woman must be kept out of the reach of other men, whether they are friends, and even father, brothers, or cousins…

It must be handled carefully because the woman risks losing control of herself, especially when combined with alcohol. It is not recommended to use it immediately after an upset, during menstruation or when children are sick.

It is forbidden to abrupt or force its use without his consent. In addition, the use of an occasional, non-regular woman presupposes the installation of a protective canopy before use.

 

SIDE EFFECTS

Excessive use of women can cause pain in the hips, as well as abdominal pain, sprains, contractures, scratches, wounds or burns in the pelvic or anal area.

Inappropriate or excessive use can also lead to unwanted pregnancies and excessive jealousy.

It can be the cause of vaginitis, anitis, sexually transmitted diseases.

In humans, concomitant use of products of the same species can cause testicular pain, prostatic tightness, hemorrhoids, drying up of sexual secretions, hot pee, dizziness, chronic fatigue and, in extreme cases, general weakening of the body.

 

EXPIRATION DATE

The lot number and the date of manufacture are shown on the identity card. Mileage can be very important at times without any doubt! Sir, be sure to check these input data before any use, especially for wear on exhaust pipes, suspensions, linings and bumpers!

 

HEED

Beware of counterfeits. There are men disguised as women (transvestites) or operated (transsexuals) who must be able to detect before use, otherwise unpleasant surprises will occur.

 

 

OPENING INSTRUCTION

 

1 — When opening the package, adopt a neutral and satisfied air. In any case, never display a disappointed look, including when she unveils her chest. Otherwise, it may negatively affect its quality and operational effectiveness. A very happy, dazzled or frightened air each time produces a very positive impact on its proper functioning.

 

2 — Store in a cool place. Especially, do not forget that she is of the weaker sex. Handle it carefully.

 

3 — Keep out of reach of the neighbor. It can cause irreversible damage to your product.

 

4 — To activate it, small kisses on the neck, a few caresses, languid kisses, “I love you” and gifts offered during a watered meal are enough for connection and contact. To disconnect, offer a night of sex beforehand. In case of proper use, she must sleep like a dorm and without even saying good night, like a lump. Sometimes she may even snoring with pleasure.

 

5 — Be sure to recharge the batteries three times a day: breakfast, lunch (accompanied by a glass of alcohol) and dinner. Avoid overfeeding it, as this could cause some side effects (postprandial sleep, constipation, migraines, fragrant flatulence, rents…).

 

6 — Some tend not to concentrate during sexual extortion. It is then necessary to hide the remote control of the TV. If the problem persists, cancel weekend meetings with friends and recommend the use of a sex toy. If the problem gets worse, you need a shock treatment: a credit card strike. To the great evils, the great remedies!

 

7— It can be incidentally useful (cleaning, dishes, opening cans, vacuuming, shopping, cleaning toilets, preparing meals, ironing, sewing, washing tiles…)

 

8 — To keep it in good condition and to save its performance in bed, it must be encouraged. Sometimes they need to be cleared in thalassotherapy.

 

The woman does not have a guarantee voucher and all models are subject to factory defects (for example, leaks, repeated cystitis, prolapse, hemorrhoids, appearance of fat masses, loosening of the abdominal strap). In addition, she can start lying, criticizing, complaining, abusing chocolate, spending without counting, blaming you [e.g. saying you forget about birthday dates, saying you snore… etc.]

 

There is no hotfix or recovery. The solution is to go from model to model until you find your ideal model corresponding to your desires.

 

“Remember that a married woman is a slave who must be able to put on a throne” [Honoré de Balzac].

 

Recent research shows that the ideal model has not yet been invented, but there are not many great scientific studies and research that are done to produce a revolutionary prototype.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *