My ex? I recycle them!

Some of my friends are surprised that I’m still in touch with most of my ex-boyfriends. The only one, I haven’t kept in touch is my ex-husband, but that’s another story. Even after years, I hear from them, they call me for advice and I am the godmother of some of their children (and they regret it… Who ordered Santa Claus the worst gift for parents… It’s me!!!)

I think it’s not because you split up that you have to hate each other, quite the contrary. We must have the intelligence to separate in good terms, to keep in memory only the good moments spent together. As my new right arm, Millefeuille, pointed out so wisely to me, an ex can always serve and it’s better to keep him on hand in case.


In the Absence of Doudou.

Well, who better than an ex to become your best friend, your confidant? He knows you on his fingertips and knows how to cheer you up when you’re at the bottom of the hole. He often reads in you like an open book, so he doesn’t need long speeches to understand you. A little hug, a good laugh around a raclette and it goes back.

In times of questioning, this is also very useful. It is never obvious to be objective when you talk about yourself. We tend to see only our flaws. Oh, well, do I have qualities? They must be well hidden then! Our ex knows us by heart and his help will be very useful to list our strengths and allow us to see the glass half full instead of half empty. Of course, you have to be ready to accept the criticism as well (quickly rest this knife on the table, come on!), but you will see that there will be few…

An ex-confidant can also help you find your next Teddy Bear. He can help you with your research, he will advise you especially if you have cracked on this new one you caught looking at you in the elevator. Your ex can help you uncover his behavior and help you put in place a strategy to make him fall into your nets. Our ex can become our best confidant, an attentive ear that will listen to us moaning hours and hours while taking a benevolent look at our wanderings.


In the Absence of McGyver

When you have a frenzy of decoration on a Sunday, but you are a penguin with the slightest tool, it may be useful to stay on good terms with your ex, the ace of DIY, especially when you don’t understand anything in the instructions for the IKEA furniture… It’s also true when you end up with a water leak at midnight on a Saturday night, unless that you have the Rothschild scholarship. In addition, it is not unpleasant to rinse your eye on your ex, naked torso, lying under the sink.

If your ex refuses? One can always pull out the size argument that will melt it in two seconds “It only has YOU who can handle the hammer as well. You’d save my life.” If on top of that, you make your pout that he loves, he’ll crack, that’s for sure.

It also works during moves “You’re so strong, so muscular,” for a computer failure “You’re the only one to understand these machines, I’m a quiche in this area,” for shopping, when fashion and you’re not girlfriends “You have so many good tastes for fashion”… Everything is possible as long as you know how to flatter your manly ego.


In the Absence of Teddy Bear

Between two relationships, his ex can also be of importance. If things are clear from the start, you can have fun under a duvet with your ex to talk to you. He knows you perfectly and knows very well what makes you climb the curtains. You will waste less time finding shoes to your foot for the evening. With your ex, you’ll go straight to serious things. You mustn’t let yourself be knocked down. Besides, I’m only advising him with an ex who knows very well that you’re not going to go back to your relationship.


An ex can be a real Swiss knife…

An ex can serve us as a horseman at a cousin’s wedding, so we cannot be seen as an old girl despair in the eyes of those around us. Everything, rather than being Bridget Jones and having to accept the appointments arranged by Mom or Grandma.

We can also push him into the arms of our best friend with whom he had better match, but keep an option on the McGyver version to help us out in thanks for introducing him to his half.

And lots of other things…

Obviously, we can’t recycle all of our ex, especially if our relationship ended badly. Even more, if our ex did not respect us, was disobeying or if we had no good memories with him. We’re not gonna put this guy in the arms of a friend, it wouldn’t be charitable … we’re all making mistakes… Me, the first…


La Puce