The Little World of Twitter

Since the closure of the borders and the containment, I have lost my little moments with my colleagues over a good hot chocolate. We have just resumed, but virtually, since the offices have still not reopened. So, to fill the void left by these absences, I replaced my breaks with a dive into the virtual world of Twitter, a strange world with sometimes obscure codes.


Twitter is a parallel world like a planet with small, well-defined tribes, but occasionally fall into excesses. I offer you a short presentation of this world that distracted me during my breaks:

The “scammers”. Be aware that more than 30% of the accounts on the little bird are false. What interest? To answer this question, it is necessary to distinguish two populations in this tribe.

o The first group brings together all the people who invent a life in order to escape from their dull daily lives. They do not hurt much, except that often they show themselves more beautiful than they really are. Then I would say that these pseudo-accounts allow the infidels to hunt without being caught by their half, or else the partners to watch them, to take their hands in the bag, when doubts arise in couples. No comment from me. You are well aware of my views on this issue. As in life, assume what you are. This will save you a lot of knots to the brain and especially a lot of worries.

o The second population of this tribe is more problematic, in my opinion. They take advantage of anonymity to attract fragile people into their net, just looking for a little attention; let them be interested in, and then they strip them in every sense of the word. Even though Twitter is trying to clean up, it is very difficult to eradicate them because it is easy to register on the little blue bird. So, mistrust who you’re talking to.


The “hunters”. As I pointed out in a previous post, Twitter is a vast hunting ground for many of these gentlemen. This network is dethroning Gleenden, Meetic and other sites… Anonymity is so convenient for them, and most of the information about them is totally false to attract you. They’re just looking for a Q plan, but they’re gonna lie to you to get it. I no longer count the so-called single or unmarried guys who came into contact with me, only because I’m open to the subject and I never refuse to talk ass (thanks to my American education on this subject). Sending nudes to breakfast or insisting on receiving them is a common behavior among members of this tribe. For them, I’m an open-bar, except that it doesn’t work that way. My refusal can sometimes lead to situations that quickly escalate with insults and other threats… The only solution is to ignore them and, above all, block them so that you can continue to surf in complete peace.


The “hates”. First remark, I’ve never seen so much hatred spilled on a social network. The slightest subject can ignite the canvas with the formation of clans who will engage in a real trench war with dialogues of the deaf. In my experience, it is rarely possible to discuss constructively with these people, and it is not uncommon for you to become the Turk head of this small tribe that hugs at the slightest attack on one of their own. All this hatred is possible, because some think they’re untouchable behind their screens. But this is not the case… If it only reaches your ego, I advise you to ignore them if you do not want it to degenerate, and you lose energy needlessly, for you will never be able to reason them. They think they have infused science, they are right, and they are not at a contradiction to get the last word. Keep in mind that you cannot please everyone and this is so much the better, because it takes everything to make a world and if some go beyond the limits, justice will someday catch them…


The “lawyers” (thank you Tigrou). These people think they know everything, they have an opinion about everything and especially about nothing!!! The worst thing is that they can’t stand the contradiction, so debating with them is a waste of time and energy, because they are deaf to the slightest argument. To be right is paramount for them and all blows are allowed for that, so when they do not have the upper hand, they block you or take you as the head of Turk.


The “drama queen” also called the “ououououin”. My favorite tribe. I want to thank them from the bottom of my heart, because I owe them my most beautiful laughter during containment. These people tell their lives in every detail on the net. You know what they eat, what they wear and everything that goes through their neurons. The stupidity of these Lucky Luke tweets (at times, one wonders when they work, so reactive they are to the slightest tweet of their TL…) is so funny that you have to have at least one in his TL, because they always brighten up your day with their remarks, close to the sidereal void. They constantly complain about their lives, implying that they are great misunderstandings. Beware of you, if you do not enter their game, if you do not caress them in the direction of hair, these people turn into Hulk/Cruella version. Do not waste your time trying to help her solve her problems, because they are not there for that. In addition, the court surrounding them will take care of taking you down at the slightest attempt at assistance, which will appear as a pseudo-attack against their queen, who loves to be victims. So, I advise you to take some popcorn, sit comfortably in your chair to watch their show. If you master the second degree, you are sure to have fun, even more if you chat with a sidekick in parallel…


Here are the first tribes I could meet on this social network that I appreciate for its proximity, its responsiveness. But I’m basically trading with people I know. Nevertheless, Twitter allowed me to make beautiful encounters, since among this jungle you can come across very kind, very funny and adorable people. Taking some precautions, beautiful friendships are even born. My little Tigrou, thank you for this one.

As G. told me, a few months ago, social networks aren’t for me, because I need real links to thrive. He was quite right. Nothing beats real life and I invite you to raise your noses from your screens to meet your virtual knowledge. If you don’t live on the same continent, video calls can help. It’s so much more rewarding to get along, to see each other and to talk over coffee. By the way, I’ll leave you, it’s hot chocolate time.


La Puce